The Difficulties of Ageing


Hi guys....I'm writing this because I was in the nursing home this weekend with my husband, because his father who has started to get dementia and who was wearing a catheter, pulled it out and of course had difficulties urinating which could also cause infection. We had to rush him to the nursing home for his doctor to reinstall the catheter.

Ageing is so difficult when you've lived your life doing things for yourself, handled issues yourself and your memory wasn't an issue. I watch how both our parents are ageing and it has become such a sad and difficult period. My husband's mom has alzheimers and his father the first stages of dementia.

My mom has memory loss but it is mainly short term memory. You will tell her something now and a few minutes later she will ask the same question or she forgets what you told her and will again ask the same question a few minutes later. She also gets confused when we are at the supermarket and too many things are coming at her at the same time. Like looking for her linx card while the cashier is asking a question and not remembering where her card is.

But that's why parents have kids. We are there to guide them and support them through this difficult, confusing time of their life and I can only hope that my kids will do the same for us. I tell my mom you don't have to worry about things because me and my brother are here to deal with those things for her and with her but she still tends to worry.


My feeling is that where my mom is on concerned she is bored. Being home doing nothing all day is boring and mind numbing. She has us to take her out and she sees me every Monday and sometimes Thursday. She sees my brother once or twice in the same week. She has friends who call her every day and all her neighbours know and look out for her. She goes to church and still serves as Lay Minister. She walks on mornings with her neighbours every morning, and she sees about her small garden⁸.

For me all she needs is some activity that will force her to use her brain a bit more. Her niece is staying with her while she studies at University and I take her prayer meetings on Thursdays plus at every opportunity I take her out or the kids go visit her. I took her to the Mall down south this weekend then the day before she went out with my brother to celebrate her grand daughters success at O'levels.

To me she has a fairly active life but she still harps on wishing that we lived with her or next door.She doesn't want to live with us because she finds it too boring where we live. It's hard to please them but you basically have to be patient and not get angry with them.

My friend has the same dementia issue with her mom but she has it even worse, as the dementia has her mother accusing her of having a boyfriend who she is bringing home at nights, in her house, which isn't the case at all. Her mother also accuses her of stealing her money and gets angry and combative, yet with her grandchildren she is cool and loving.

If my friend argues with her mom it gets worse but her patience ran out recently and she ended up shouting at her mother. She felt bad after but she just couldn't handle the accusations anymore. I understand because it can very frustrating repeating the same thing over and over or hearing things told to you that are incorrect but your parent is speaking as if it's true and they don't listen to any explanation and never change their attitude to haring the correct info. Frustrating is a mild way to describe it.



With me it's taking the negative attitude and repeated negativity....the "poor me", "sorry for herself" attitude that drives me crazy. As a coach I can't handle negativity especially since I teach positivity and a "you can" attitude to all my clients. I encourage and guide them to achieve their life and professional goals.... so hearing the opposite from my mom is difficult.

I have to drum up the strength to ignore it and just redirect her to a more grateful way of thinking and to thank God for all that she has. She is lucky that with only 2 kids she got 8 grandkids. A friend of ours has 7 kids but only 5 grandchildren from all those kids she has. So one has to be grateful for all the blessings we get but at that age they wallow in repeated " I wish....." at least that's how it is with my mom.

My husband has it hard with dealing with the finances of his parents, handling the nurses and any emergencies that occurred this weekend and we don't live close to his parents so it's quite a drive to get to them or to meet them at the nursing home. But my husband is from a country area and country people stick to one another, look out for each other and are also very helpful for each other. He just has to make a few calls and he has someone to transport his father to the doctor where we met them and blessed for us, the doctor was there, the catheter was reinstalled and his father got a check up one time, which isn't normal. So everything worked put girl the best and his father is fine. God is in control you just need to ask him to help, which is what I did the minute we left home to come to the nursing home.

Like I mentioned, I hope me and my husband stay healthy for a long time....although with all these parental challenges my huzzy now has high blood pressure and has always suffered with sleep apnea. Me on the other hand, I only have the menopausal aggravations but I'm healthy otherwise. So people, make sure you have great family relationships, that you do all that's necessary to stay healthy because you do age and you could end up sickly with dementia or worse yet alzheimers, and you want to know that there is someone there you can rely on during that period when the memory fails, the body fails and you need support. Good luck guys....check you Thursday and think about what I said. Luv you guys.

Giving Of Yourself

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Hi everyone...sorry about the late posting but yesterday I had a very hectic day as I worked in two stalls for my Church Harvest and today is my mom's I kinda forgot all about posting.

The title today is what I felt as I worked in the Harvest. Sometimes you have to give to your community...find a way. If not through your church then maybe through a club for the youths or the communuty centre. 

That day it was a lot of work, very hot, very tiring and I had volunteered my kids to run one of the stalls without asking them. They weren't too happy about that and I basically had to organise everything myself and they simply came the day to run the stall. They did a good job but my son who is a grumbler....grumbled as usual........Kids!!!


A wide view during mass before the start of the Harvest.



Me and my friend in the stall. 

That is all for now. Check you next week. Love you all.


I was a little upset with him and his attitude, so after the harvest when we were all at home I sent a message on the family whatsapp chat telling them thanks for their help and that they had done a good job and they had done their part for the church and I won't volunteer them again. ...yes...I dislike grumblers.

I had fun but my feet were killing me because after working in one stall, when it closed off I moved to my kids' stall to help there. Last year when I did the stall I felt worst but this year I had no aches or pains. That must mean that my workouts at the gym were paying off.


Back to giving of yourself...... I hope each and everyone of us can do something for others or to help our community as the community takes care of its people...its young and old. So lets do our part.

My Story

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Hi everyone. Just wanted to tell you a little bit about me. So who is GaFra? Better known as Gail Francis. Well I am the first of 2 children. My baby brother is my sweety. We are 6 years apart but we get along like a house on fire. We laugh at the most ridiculous things. My father died or was killed a few years ago. That's a whole story in itself. My mom is alive and she is a sweetheart.

Being the oldest I am quite responsible. I did my chores. Didn't stay out too late etc. Being married with four children I must say my mom had it easy...but my kids are a dream and so is my wonderful husband. I don't know how he puts up with me. I am stubborn and bossy sometimes but he is my greatest fan. Life in Trinidad is great despite all the things you hear internationally. I own my own business that I run with my husband but my Art is my second business.

I'm hoping to make it a serious business so when I retire it is fully up and running. So coming back to me......below see what i looked like as a child.


cute huh?😁 I have always enjoyed life. I look different from a few years ago and as I get older I decided to go natural and I am enjoying it immensely. But painting is what lets me relax and I am happiest doing.


But I also enjoyed horseback riding but haven't been able to do much of that anymore


This is me when I decided to go natural. I cut it all off. I'm in the Botanical Gardens having snow cone.


Love that place. Ok I've got lots more to share but i'll do that next week. I rebranded as you know and I want my new look to really reach out there internationally. So let your friends, here and abroad know about my site. a part of my new look I will also be painting series. Right now I'm working on a 3 part series of my watercolour painting " The Old Lattice House"  I plan to paint 3 different perspectives of the house. Here is "The Old Lattice House" the first/original.


This is part 2 of the Old House Series.


OK guys talk next week. And check me next week to see how the series is going. Later!!! Love you all.

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Hi I’m GaFra

Welcome and here is a gift for you. Click below.




Highs and Lows


Highs & Lows. We all experience these times. What does it mean for me?


Hi everyone. I was killing some time the other day, and as I waited for my husband to pick me up, I started to think and enjoy the fact that people in Trinidad and Tobago live such different lives. Sometimes you get a short glimpse into someone else's life and you realise how different they were brought up and you realise how different it was for them compared to how you were brought up. Then you also now acknowledge that's why people behave and think and do things totally different from you. 

Some people had very difficult lives, some had it very easy and others had a mixture of both. My life has been pretty blessed but there are things that I have never experienced or been exposed to but inspite of that I am the one responsible for my own happiness. I enjoy life....yes sometimes I feel down but I don't let it linger. There is soooo much beauty out there and things to enjoy. Why waste time complaining or grumbling? 

I visited an old boss a few weeks back and she is the epitomy of energy and life. I admire her greatly. She has aged but she has done it so well. Still a go getter and still extremely strong. I hope I am like that when I reach 75. I think surrounding yourself with nature heals you versus living in a concrete jungle. Give me mountains and trees and birds anyday. It all adds up to a long lifespan.